Yesterday I went to an audition that I was afraid to go to last year. Last year I didn't tell anyone I didn't do it because I was afraid, I lied. I came up with so many excuses, blaming it on the shows they were doing, didn't have time, I would be doing something else, blah, blah, blah. The truth is, I was afraid I wouldn't get it. I was afraid I would put my all into it and not get it. That would translate to me that I wasn't good enough, and because I've struggled with that so much, I didn't want to hear or feel that.
Sometimes we (I know I do, I hope I'm not the only one) don't try. And that doesn't necessarily mean not doing it, because you can participate in something and not really try. Truly trying something is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do, because if you are not successful there is nothing you can blame it on. No safety net to fall in. In result, people don't often give something their all. Why?
Here's why-As long as you don't give something your all, or hold back, you can always blame you not being successful on that. You can always say things like, "If I really tried I could've got it" and "If I really wanted it, I could've done it, but I didn't care that much". It's a safety net. Doing something but not truly trying is like bowling with bumpers over the gutter. You may have a high score, but what is it worth? Newsflash, no one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe. By playing it safe you rob yourself of the opportunity of knowing what you can really do. Can you imagine how many planes the Wright brothers had to crash to get one to fly. I can almost guarantee that there was someone else in their field who said, "I could make something fly... If I really wanted to". Which person would you rather be?
For me, saying I didn't audition because I didn't like the shows was a lot different than not auditioning because I didn't want to not get the part. I'm finally at a place where I'm going to go for it, no matter what. No matter how many times I crash a plane, if I keep trying eventually I will fly. I will keep getting better. I will keep reaching the max of what I thought I could do and keep pushing past it.
Failure can be the biggest blessing to you. Failure tells you where you are, shows you were you aren't, and gives you the experience on how to get there. Don't be afraid of failing, failing is inevitable. Be afraid of being crippled by fear to the point that you don't try. Be afraid of not trying. Not trying is a guarantee that you'll never achieve. You can do it, but first you have to try!